Monday, 25 November 2013

Kawau camp

 A complex sentence has more than one clause. It has added detail giving the reader more information. It adds interest and makes writing JUICY.

For  our third event,Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the confidence course.

Mr Jacobsen was our coach, which helped me through  the confidence course.

Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the confidence course up high in camp bentzon.

It was my first time, I was nervous about sailing on camp.

I was nervous about sailing, because I was solo on camp.

I was nervous about sailing on camp. but I think I can do it.

Its was the first time that, We went abseiling.

We went abseiling but I was scared.

Monday, 4 November 2013

The Whisper

P1 On Avenel Station there was a cow called Rosie  she was walking on the paddock.When she heard a whisper HELP,HELP ME Rosie turned around , but there  was no one there.She kept walking,Rosie heard it again HELP , ANYBODY.

P2 The mysterious voice faded away Rosie was getting scared,Then she called “Hello is anyone there”.On one called back then she ran to get help but they were gone,She found her friend Anna.She said to Anna “can you help me theres a whisper and it sounds like  she needs help”.

P3 Anna and Rosie ran as fast as they can lookin all around the forest but they couldn't find her.Anna saw someone hey look ,there she is she was heart, what's your name my name is Kelly I was walking then a deer was chasing me , then I fell and cut me self.

P4  There was a thorn stuck inside hold on to something Anna pulled the thorn.It came out ,Kelly was still in alot a pane its going to be allright said Rosie. “Thanks you guys for helping me” said Kelly It's all right  said Anna and Rosie.


Friday, 1 November 2013

The Accident my story with marking

Last night it was raining hard like  golf balls coming down, me and my friend Zane had a sleepover  at my house.The next day my mum made us some breakfast, mince on toast humm nice breakfast.Jo and Zane did the dishes after that me and Zane  went out to get the quad bike out.

Riding up and down the hills.I was going to turn that’s when I FLIPPED and fell over Zane ran as fast as he could to tell Jos mum. Jos mum called the ambulance, when mum was done she rushed to try and get the bike off.

The ambulance came and they tried there best to get him off “PUSH” they said but they couldn’t get it off.So they call the fire department, they keeped pushing there hardiest to when the fire department came they got the bike off.

Jo had to go hulstpatill  had got a broken leg and dislocated his arm.When Jo came out of the hulstpatill  he was banned from the bike

from now on.